Shouldn’t, Wouldn’t, Couldn’t, Can, Did.

“Come with me,” he said, fully aware my answer most likely would be “no.”

Why? To be honest, I don’t really know. Maybe it was my mind formulating the different endings that those potential adventures could have. Developing all the possible routes we could take with every place we could see and what could happen there and where that could lead.

Maybe that’s my problem: overthinking. I overthink my decisions to the point where I can see both sides. I see the good and the evil, the consequences that affect other people, the consequences that I would directly face, and where that could lead me later in life.

Everything happens for a reason: a philosophy that some people swear by, floating through life. But me? I can’t.

There are those words again: can, can’t, could, couldn’t.

Not that I should or shouldn’t. That I would or wouldn’t. It’s that I physically could or couldn’t. Rather, I say I can or can’t or that I could or couldn’t.

I pause. What if I change that sentence? Take out the “could” or “could not” and replace it with “should” or “should not.” What now? What could happen to me? Should I take that leap? What if I just eliminate “potentially” entirely. What then?


(Copyright 2017 Meredith O’Neil)