Paintball from the Experts

The Oracle interviewed Mr. Compton and Mr. Will Kim ’18 on the topic of tips for succeeding at a paintball match. The Oracle advises readers to follow each tip as carefully as possible to increase the possibility of winning. Both Mr. Compton and Mr. Will Kim are Federal Paintball Association Approved Experts, and their advice can be taken with full confidence in its accuracy.

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Mr. Will Kim ’18

  1. Make sure to have a “nice lady” by your side, showing off to them will definitely improve your overall performance.
  2. Wear very thin, light layers of clothing so as to move quickly around the course.
  3. If necessary, bring your Heelys to move between obstacles quickly without being shot.
  4. Dress professionally: be as bright as possible to intimidate and scare off your opponents; almost everyone is afraid of neon orange.
  5. Have fun; remember, you will if you follow these simple steps.

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Mr. Compton

  1. Don’t forget to bring your ghillie suit; you’ll want to blend in with your surroundings.
  2. “Become one with the field”
  3. The key to paintball is suppressive fire – degrade your enemy to the point where they cannot fulfill their mission. Suppress, advance, repeat.
  4. Teamwork is crucial – coordinate and communicate with your leaders and subordinates.
  5. Use strategies – flanking is useful in a mechanised environment.
  6. Lastly, possibly the most important, pick your teammates wisely.

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Skirmish USA Castle
Skirmish USA Castle

It is always important to keep in mind that you should use angles to your advantage and keep your enemy guessing. Covering your teammates and using the terrain to the maximum advantage is imperative. Remember, your opponents are trying to do the same thing, so try to think like they are thinking, use counter-offensive maneuvers rather than direct assault, or plan your assault for the most unexpected attack point.

(Copyright Tys Sweeney 2015) This article is partially satire; references to the Federal Paintball Association are in jest. Neither of the two interviewed are named as experts. Some of the tips may actually help, some are in jest. Understand this before submitting a complaint. Photo from Skirmish website.

 

Tys Sweeney

Founder & Editor-in-Chief Emeritus

Tys Sweeney '17 founded the Blair Oracle in April 2015. He wrote news, fiction, poetry, and announcements for the publication until he graduated in 2017. He served as Editor-in-Chief until 2016 and was succeeded by Seth Kim.

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