Canteen Report: Sale of Frozen Grapes Skyrockets

Many, many frozen green grapes in cups in a freezer

Frozen grapes, one of the most popular items in the Black Canteen, have been flying off the shelves.

A simple combination of grapes and freezing temperatures, the food has long been a staple of the Blair student diet, and, as of late, has garnered even more attention. After Senior Class Council’s compelling endorsement skit on the merits of the frozen grape, the Can has reported a daily uptick in the sale of frozen grapes that has resulted in a weekly gain of 15% in sales of the product.

The increase in the sale of frozen grapes may not be linked just to this recent celebrity endorsement, but also to the supply shortage affecting Kind bars, a popular choice for athletes and academics alike. The reduced supply in the snack food market has certainly played a role in increasing the already popular frozen grape to new heights.

Grapes on sale at the Black Canteen

On top of all this, there is another facet to the story. The grapes, which sell for $2.25 retail, have, as stated in the Canteen’s annual sales report, sold an extraordinary 2.2 million units in 2016– an estimated 4 and a half thousand cups of grapes per student per year. With a total revenue stream of almost $5 million, grapes have now replaced bulk mailing and targeted phone calls as the Advancement Office’s main method of fundraising for the CIC. Within two years, the construction of the new building will be fully funded by the sale of Blair’s hottest commodity alone.

That’s all for this week’s Canteen Report. Next week: the bagel, and how new summer fashion fads are pouring money into the bread market.

(Copyright 2017 Tys Sweeney)

Tys Sweeney

Founder & Editor-in-Chief Emeritus

Tys Sweeney '17 founded the Blair Oracle in April 2015. He wrote news, fiction, poetry, and announcements for the publication until he graduated in 2017. He served as Editor-in-Chief until 2016 and was succeeded by Seth Kim.