Advice for Dateless Buc-ettes and Bucs

Mid-Winter Semi-Formal is in a week, which means if you haven’t asked anyone you’d better get on that. However, for many of the newbies who have never asked anyone to a dance before, it can be pretty nerve-wracking. Today I’ll be sharing some pro-tips on how to ask someone to a dance.

Step 1: Acquire a potential target, preferably someone you know and someone with no significant other. However, either issue can be worked around.

Step 2: Very casually hint to them that you are better than they are, so that they subconsciously become aware of their inferiority and gradually begin to need your validation. You will thereby establish a powerful psychological hold on the underling.

Step 3: Pop the question. Once you have established control over your target, it becomes time to request their company at the Mid-Winter Semi-Formal as your date. Keep in mind that since you have established dominance the ‘question’ should obviously be in the form of a statement, so saying ‘no’ is not an option. They can’t say no if it’s not a question.

(Copyright 2018 Matt Dev) 

Matt Dev

Matt Dev is a senior and an editor for the Oracle.